My Dear Doctor,
I have been wanting to pose a question to you regarding this contraption, Facebook. After you have been friended by every lowly acquaintance you ever tried to leave tactfully behind, can one ever retire? Or am I forced with maintaining this account as my public PR face...forever?
Nibbling my monocle in anticipation,
Dear Nibbling My Monocle,
I feel so sympathetic toward your situation. Everyday the Facebook page opens, one is faced with both friends and villains alike. This invites much conflict in the mind. Perhaps more than any human should endure. How can it be that one who is called a "friend" online is actually a villain in real life? This is hard to stomach. I feel the cognac solution is perhaps the best one. Do you have a healthy supply on hand?
Sincerely concerned with on-line identities,