Friday, May 22, 2015

Costco Congestion

Dear Heather,
There is something that is driving me crazy and I am hoping you can help.  Every time I go to Costco to buy dog food someone always leaves their cart in the middle of the aisle, blocking traffic.  Sometimes they are having a conversation with someone and sometimes they are just standing there staring off into space.  After driving 30 minutes to get there, the last thing I want to do is sit in traffic at the big box store. What gives?
Your fan,
Los Lunas, NM

Dear Brenda, 
I can certainly sympathize with your problem. This experience reminds one that there are simply too many people on the planet and many of them shop at Costco. I would suggest going there on an off day-say Monday or Tuesday. As a last resort, I would also recommend having your prescription for medical marijuana filled before your next trip there. Happy shopping and I hope this helps in some small way. 

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Relaxing Piano Music

Dear Heather,
My Three-Hour Relaxing Piano Music video just ended. I'm not sure what to do. I'm starting to feel stressed out already. Do you have any advice for me?

I certainly feel your pain. Step away from the computer, go outside and take a few deep breaths. Then come back to the screen and refresh. That should help. If you need any further info, please don't hesitate to ask.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

What's In a Name?

Dear Heather,
Do you think the close relationship between Anthony Weiner’s name and his behavior is mere coincidence, or simply fate?

Dear Jasmine,
Some say we are destined to live out our namesake--that the name makes the man, so to speak. I feel there is truth to that concept and one can see it playing out in the unfortunate case of Mr. Weiner. Thanks for your question. I hope it is the last one I receive with the word “weiner” in it.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Summer Daze

Dear Heather,
I am an educator and off for the summer. The first month was great, but now that I’ve done all the fun stuff I wanted to do, I find myself obsessing about household projects like switching out the covers on electrical outlets. What do you think this means?
Dr. Elizabeth Holloway
Portland, Oregon

Dear Elizabeth,
You might be searching for some deep philosophical motivation behind this question, but I can’t find one. I think it simply means that it’s time for you to go back to work.
Have a great semester,

Monday, July 14, 2014

Viagra Commercial

Dear Heather,
I’m watching a television program that I love but am having a huge problem. Every four minutes the wonderful programming is interrupted by a Viagra commercial. What can I do? Please help me.
Burlington, VT

Dear Janice,
I wish there was something I could do. This humiliation is suffered by millions of humans every day without end. You can try turning off the volume or leaving the room during the break, but nothing can take away the confusing image of the couple in separate bathtubs holding hands at the end.  
All the best,

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Olympic Sweater Snafu

Dear Heather,
I was watching the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics last night and I couldn't help but notice the U.S. team had the most hideous jackets out of all the delegations. No one has mentioned it so I feel really alone in this. I wanted to reach out to you at this time because you offer consolation, even when it seems none is possible.

Dear Yolanda,
Rest easy-I share your sentiments. Those sweater-jackets were the most gaudy things I've seen in a long time. And they reminded me how the U.S. of A. can often overdo it on an international scale. Usually it's with foreign policy, but this time it was fashion. Thanks for sharing your pain and know that I am always here for you.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Metal Detection

Dear Heather,
I recently saw a commercial that claimed, and I quote, "metal detecting is becoming one of the fastest growing hobbies in America." Do you think this is true? What are your thoughts?
Valencia County, New Mexico

Hi Cory,
I find this claim puzzling. Metal detecting is not a hobby. Hobbies are fun things like photography, needlework, or cooking. Scavenging for metal objects left behind by others seems like a sad pastime to me.  I hope this does not offend anyone in the metal detecting community.
Kind regards,