Thursday, September 25, 2014

What's In a Name?

Dear Heather,
Do you think the close relationship between Anthony Weiner’s name and his behavior is mere coincidence, or simply fate?
Jasmine
Manhattan

Dear Jasmine,
Some say we are destined to live out our namesake--that the name makes the man, so to speak. I feel there is truth to that concept and one can see it playing out in the unfortunate case of Mr. Weiner. Thanks for your question. I hope it is the last one I receive with the word “weiner” in it.
Heather

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Summer Daze

Dear Heather,
I am an educator and off for the summer. The first month was great, but now that I’ve done all the fun stuff I wanted to do, I find myself obsessing about household projects like switching out the covers on electrical outlets. What do you think this means?
Dr. Elizabeth Holloway
Portland, Oregon

Dear Elizabeth,
You might be searching for some deep philosophical motivation behind this question, but I can’t find one. I think it simply means that it’s time for you to go back to work.
Have a great semester,
Heather

Monday, July 14, 2014

Viagra Commercial

Dear Heather,
I’m watching a television program that I love but am having a huge problem. Every four minutes the wonderful programming is interrupted by a Viagra commercial. What can I do? Please help me.
Janice
Burlington, VT

Dear Janice,
I wish there was something I could do. This humiliation is suffered by millions of humans every day without end. You can try turning off the volume or leaving the room during the break, but nothing can take away the confusing image of the couple in separate bathtubs holding hands at the end.  
All the best,
Heather

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Olympic Sweater Snafu

Dear Heather,
I was watching the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics last night and I couldn't help but notice the U.S. team had the most hideous jackets out of all the delegations. No one has mentioned it so I feel really alone in this. I wanted to reach out to you at this time because you offer consolation, even when it seems none is possible.
Sincerely,
Yolanda

Dear Yolanda,
Rest easy-I share your sentiments. Those sweater-jackets were the most gaudy things I've seen in a long time. And they reminded me how the U.S. of A. can often overdo it on an international scale. Usually it's with foreign policy, but this time it was fashion. Thanks for sharing your pain and know that I am always here for you.
Regards,
Heather

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Metal Detection

Dear Heather,
I recently saw a commercial that claimed, and I quote, "metal detecting is becoming one of the fastest growing hobbies in America." Do you think this is true? What are your thoughts?
Cory
Valencia County, New Mexico

Hi Cory,
I find this claim puzzling. Metal detecting is not a hobby. Hobbies are fun things like photography, needlework, or cooking. Scavenging for metal objects left behind by others seems like a sad pastime to me.  I hope this does not offend anyone in the metal detecting community.
Kind regards,
Heather

Saturday, December 1, 2012

My Little Pony

Dear Heather,
Why have "The Smurfs" and "My Little Pony" enjoyed such a resurgence in popularity?
Lisa
Dallas, TX

Dear Lisa,
Both "The Smurfs" and "My Little Pony" represent the fantastical world of childhood that many adults and children love. Living in a dreamland of blue nymphs and plastic ponies is quite natural for Americans passing on 1980s pop cultural traditions to their offspring-a tribute to their own nostalgic coming of age.
Sincerely,
Heather




Thursday, November 1, 2012

Defending Money

Dear Heather,
Yesterday I stayed home all day defending my money. It was really boring. Any tips for making saving more fun?
Jon
Portland, OR

Hi Michael,
Thank you for your question. This is on everyone's minds. Let's face it in a capitalist economy, just stepping out the front door costs money. But this doesn't have to be a bummer. Step out the door anyway and go out for a hike in nature, ride your bike, write a story, or photograph your favorite things. You will be rewarded for your creativity and feel wealth beyond measure.
Sincerely,
Heather