Wednesday, February 15, 2023

The Futility of Decorative Pillows

Dear Heather, 
I have this ongoing anxiety with excessive amounts of decorative pillows on couches, beds, and even chaise lounges. To me, any amount is excessive. What's the point of removing them every night from the bed and replacing them in the morning, anyway? You can't get those moments back in life. Even more puzzling to me is a thousand of them taking over the couch and nowhere to sit.  
Pondering Form vs. Function, 
Daniel
Portland, OR


Hi Daniel, 
This is one of those questions when life makes no sense and you just have to give it up to Jesus. 
Many best wishes for the year ahead, 
Heather 

Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Space Ex

Dear Heather, 
If you tell your significant other they should go to space, is that an insult to them? I mean, a lot of people are signing up to go today. 
Chelsea
Corsicana, TX

Dear Chelsea, 
If your relationship is on the rocks, in an incipient phase, or if your partner has simply had a bad day, I would refrain from mentioning this. It could backfire. Even though many humans today would like to flee to another planet, your significant other could take it the wrong way. They could feel you do not want to be close to them physically. 
Best wishes, 
Heather 

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Dental Hell

Dear Heather, 
Should I go to the dentist for a broken jaw?
Shawn
Goleta, California

Dear Shawn, 
Not if your dentist is the one who broke it. 
Best wishes, 
Heather

Monday, December 19, 2022

Christmas Gift-Giving

 Dear Heather, 
Is it wrong to wrap up personal items as gifts and present them to loved ones at the holidays?
Let me know, 
Deborah
Austin, Texas

Dear Deborah, 
I don't think it's wrong. You do You. If others judge you, that's between them and their Creator. 
Sincerely, 
Heather 

Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Existential Question

Dear Heather,
When one has finally and absolutely seen the world, and its miserable inhabitants for what it is like Antoine Roquentin did in Sartre's Nausea and realizes that it is all totally meaningless and absurd, what is there left to do? Scream? Shout? Cry? Or, simply chill out and drink more Belgian beer?
Signed, 
Rez

Dear Rez, 
That is the question for the ages. It is natural to go for the default diversion, but maybe better to simply breathe into the acceptance of an imperfect world, and, if that doesn't work, return to the default, aforementioned activities. 
Sincerely, 
Heather 

Monday, July 19, 2021

Karmic Exculpation

Dear Heather, 
What is the rule on returning items or gifts from a romantic partner who you have recently split up with? 
Sylvia
Saratoga Springs

Dear Sylvia, 
As a general rule, most items accumulated during a relationship should be discarded due to their negative karma and reminders of that particular person. This applies to low-value items, food products, bottles of Topo Chico, Pinot Noir or wasabi nuts. Anything the person enjoyed that they left at your house should be thrown in the trash or given to a less fortunate neighbor for their birthday. Of course, higher ticket items should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis. When it comes to expensive clothing or jackets, do a Google search of the potential re-sale value on Poshmark, and then proceed accordingly with the listing and online sale. 
Best wishes,
Heather 



Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Poodles & Perfume

Dear Heather, 
I recently went through a break-up--any tips for getting through this difficult time? 
Madison
Minneapolis, MN

Dear Madison, 
Thanks for your question. I find it helpful to make a list of all things you disliked about that person. You can put down anything: their dog, their perfume, or their poor driving abilities. This will help begin the healing process. Feel free to refer back to the list at vulnerable times. 
Best of luck, 
Heather