Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I Want to Start a Church

Dear Heather,
I'm contemplating starting a church to promote my personal agenda and political views. However, I have very little education in Christian theology and am also at a loss as to how to go about starting a church. Do pastors normally go to school for this? What do you recommend?
Thanks in advance,
Lafayette, LA

Dear Wishihadachurch,
I wouldn't worry about being uneducated. That seems to help in the area of religion. That way silly things like evolution don't get in the way of your dogma. Besides, your goal is to reach as many people as possible. What better avenue than through cable TV? Have you seen what's on there lately? The breadth of superfluous items is simply astounding. There has to be a place there for you and your church.

I would first recommend having a friend videotape you practicing your sermon, then you can review the tapes to see where you need to improve. Once you have a good sample, you can put this on cable or on the internet and reach a large audience.

If none of this works, I would recommend making positive affirmations, like "I can do this" or "I deserve the abundance of the universe."

Sometimes we think God is not listening, but he is.

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