School Supplies

Dear Heather,
Which do you consider the more formidable defense weapon in school? The slide rule, protractor, or Trapper Keeper?
Signed,
Overly Cautious

Dear Overly Cautious,
Going to school can be dangerous these days, so you're right to be concerned. The most formidable defense weapon would have to be the Trapper Keeper, though. It can weigh in at over 10 pounds with all the folders, papers, pens, and pencils most students stuff inside. If you find yourself in the hall facing the school bully, you can turn it vertical and slap him upside the head before he knows what hit him. Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Heather