Foot-Related Issue

Dear Heather,
I got spam in my e-mail inbox today with a subject line that said only, "your feet are funky." I really wanted to open the message and see what it said, but I deleted it. How do you think a cyberspammer knows so much about my feet? Do you think I am being watched?
Sincerely,
Paranoid Uber Funky-Foot, Yo (P.U.F.F.Y.)
Washington, DC

Dear PUFFY,
Cyber-spammers come in all forms of mental capacity. They can be crazy, evil people who want to murder you, or just as nice as the girl next door. In this case, I would recommend exercising caution when opening your spam mailbox, but would stop short of encouraging you to call the police. I doubt you're being watched, but more than likely this person has a foot fetish. So far there's no law on the books for that one, so it would be difficult to prosecute. One preventative measure you can take is to begin wearing closed-toe shoes.
Sincerely,
Heather